I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
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