so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
