I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
