your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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