Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
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it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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