So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
