I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize