we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
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we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
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YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole