Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
