so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
