peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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