i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
