I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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