I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize