I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize