Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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