Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
