I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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