Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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