Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
