Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
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