He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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