I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
