to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He felt like a one man threesome
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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