I only kidnapped one of them. chill
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
