it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
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