Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
