Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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