how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
