is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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