dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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