Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
