I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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