In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
well you can't waste a boner
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
