i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize