hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
