I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
There's even glitter on my cock...
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