You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
