you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
