How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
