period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
