Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I wear drunk well.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
