I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
