1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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