u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
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Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
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I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
ok first of all what the fuck
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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