he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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