So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
