i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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