So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
