i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
