What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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