Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You can't special order awesome
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
