the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
