so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Randomize
