he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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