The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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