U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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