i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
