I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
