SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
