Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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