I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
