I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
