Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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