you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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