Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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